Today I’ve been to a funeral. Not that uncommon I’m sure you are thinking, after all, people die all the time. But this feels different. This was a friend. I don’t feel old enough to be losing friends. I’m only mid forties, half way through in my mind. It’s too early to be losing friends. Cancer is a cunt. Sorry if that offends you but it’s true 💔
Earlier this year I made a promise to myself. I need to reach out to people that I have lost (physical) contact with. Facebook and the like are great but there’s no intimacy in liking someone’s post or vicariously living life through other’s photos. I made a promise to either ring someone far away or meet someone closer to home every week. I started off well but in the last month I’ve neglected my duties. This friend was on the list. I wasn’t quick enough. All the time in the world became no time and too late. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I feel so sorry. But all of these feelings are selfish. They allow me to wallow in self pity.
I need to change my mindset. Stop feeling sorry. Instead embrace the original promise. Life is too short. This tragedy has really opened my eyes to this fact. If you want something you need to go out and get it. Friends have always been family to me. Those of you on the fringes, watch out, I’m coming for you ❤️